this memory that can't be deleted.

i still remember how it all changed.
that hour's cut out the rest of the highlight reel.
it's now the only replay.

you spoke softly,
               slowly,
               guiltily.
you could barely look at me,
but you didn't have to.
i felt the goodbye in your voice.

the brushing of our lips was a display for our care for one another,
but it was little to restore your faith in what we had fought for.
your doubt, too intense.

you were a reach away, but never had i felt your absence stronger.
i sat there, somehow still willing to fight for it,
to struggle, but
before i could stop you, you were already behind the ropes.

i can't forget how you eventually resisted my touch -
i remember how i sank; my heart to my stomach; my love to irrelevance.
i remember looking into your eyes as i backed out that door.
i knew you were sorry, and i could feel your hurt,
but it still took everything in me not to slam it behind me.

i walked away angry.
today i walk, still angry,
waiting for the day i don't wake up with this memory,
                                                with you in mind.